Went out today for my second mountain bike ride ever.
Those of you familiar with me in RL know that I am among the most neurotic people ever born. I am also obsessive, stubborn, fear-driven, and compulsive. In other words, I was born to ride.
Today I decided the only way to get good at this is to force it. And I mean in exactly the way that people say, "ya can't force those sort of things." I can. I will.
And I almost did force it. I almost forced my pancreas through my bellybutton today.
Highlights today:
1) An inadvertent epic power slide that had an existential quality to it in the sense that I saw all of bike-dom flash before me in a revelation of wisdom. I knew the powerslide was a legitimate move on a sharper bottom turn. What I didn't know was what the hell I was doing.
This of course led to a miniature near heart-and-kidney-and-bladder failure inducing anxiety attack. It happened in less than 3 picoseconds and lasted until the moment I was already down the trail realizing I had survived a move I don't know how to do.
2) A classic face slap by my favorite bush. We're talking pimp style backhand here. I almost cried, but I was interrupted by a bumpy rut that was trying to wrestle me to the ground and take my wallet.
3) The aforementioned pancreas forcing moment. Despite the fact that I drew up all my Kung Fu Chi and threw it at this climb, I was stopped as if my legs and bike where set in concrete.
I was forced to perform the "walk of shame" up the rest of the hill to a flat spot.
Don't worry about not being there: I made fun of myself for you.
As they say nowhere in particular "Sassaplorn Krendle!"
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Call me after your first endo.
ReplyDeleteThere's no better time to drink beer.
And I can help carry you and your bike back home, too.
Great blog post! As you know I used to ride really hard,..even did the NORBAS one year at Big Bear and studied under Missy the Missile G...
If mountain biking teaches anything, it is truly to ride in the face of fear, and focus instead on the path you are choosing in front of you, and absoLUTELY nothing else, lest your ride end is a powerslide of doom and destruction. Often, much like life, there is only a very narrow path that ultimately works...sometimes only the width of your tire tread. When we veer off that path, we crash.
'slong as we get right back up, though...good to go!
I must say that the addition of ass padded shorts will only increase the elation since you then be able to completly focus on SWEET JUMPS!
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