Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Anaphylaxis = t3h sUcKagE!!!

As you can see by these letters I am still alive, no thanks to the administration of a vegetarian Indian curry lunch special spiked with shellfish. SHELLFISH!!??!

Somebody needs to consult their cookbook a little more closely. The last time I checked, it in no way required shrimp to curry some potatoes. Maybe Indian cuisine is starting to take cues from Thai dishes. Thai food loves to use brine shrimp as flavoring. It literally involves steeping tiny, tiny shrimp like they are tea leaves in some hot water and then dumping the shrimp and keeping the new "shrimp tea" so you can flavor your dish with it.

Seeing as this behavior makes no sense in any way related to flavor, we must assume that these recipes were written to kill me and anyone else with a serious allergy to shellfish. Beware people, your Pad Thai hates you and is out for blood.

I told the host at the restaurant that I was severely allergic to shellfish and that I could not eat anything that even remotely came into contact with them. He recommended some of the vegetarian dishes and some chicken dishes, and then (I should have seen this, but was caught off guard) he said the dreaded, "you'll be fine."

Now, I should know that hearing these words from a restaurant employee regarding any food allergy is like the kiss of death. He might as well have pulled out a gun and shot me right there, and then done the evil voodoo dance on my sorry carcass. "You'll be fine" said to a person with a food allergy means, in kitchen speak, "yer on yer own, you sorry ass jerk, and if you die its no less than you deserve for bothering to wake up this morning."

So the story goes: I ate the potato curry and realized it was spiked with crustacean crud. Fast forward 30 minutes and I am in the ER repenting for every sin both known and unknown I have ever committed. I really didn't want to die because of God's wrath via his instrument of death, the potato curry.

I know its shallow, but I just can't go out like that. It would hurt my ego too much to die in any other that 2 ways: mega epic tale of amazing feats, or simply and humbly of old age with a big family and a long life. Anything else is simply not acceptable.

I am done with 5 days of prednisone, and thank God for that because I hated every minute of it. That drug is evil and scary. Now that I am done not sleeping for 5 days, all I have to worry about is the dreaded prednisone crash. I am not sure if it will happen to me; it was a short term dose? I really, really hope it doesn't.

Waiting...

I shall return to tell you that IT'S MY BIKE! when I feel good enought to ride again.

Until then, just say no to deadly allergens.

3 comments:

  1. Wow, totally plays out the fear expressed in my blog.

    It's really scary that people have no grasp of/understanding of/concern for this kind of thing.

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  2. Oh yeah, be sure to avoid Taco Bell....

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  3. http://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/2010/04/01/death-taco/

    ReplyDelete